There's this woman and her child that attend swim class at the same time as me and my kids. This is the third week that I have seen the mother do the most infuriating thing: give her kid TWO lollipops out of the basket (each kid is supposed to get one) because the kid screams and cries when she "tries" to give her one. Today the thing that made me most aggravated was that the mother looks around at all the rest of us (mothers who have kids with ONE pop) and starts asking what to do. One woman says, "Just don't give her another" and I say, "In my house if one isn't good enough, you don't get any." For about 10 seconds she takes the one lollipop away from her (which makes more crying...DUH), and then proceeds to ask the lifeguard to get her another pop so that she'll quit crying. HELLO?! Anyone home??? Why should your kid ever quit crying for two, if you're only going to give her what she wants? Is that your job in life, to give her whatever she wants, 'cause Life isn't always going to give her what she wants, and your job is to train her to survive Life away from you? Are you really giving her a fair shake?
AND what if we all gave our kids two pops? Swim club would then have to buy TWICE as many as they do now; not a big deal in the big scheme of life, but seriously, get a back bone, Lady.
And (hopefully the last thing), think outside the box, Lady! Don't force swim club to provide for your inability to make the rule stick: bring her a pop from your own house. And one way to break her of this is to leave the lollipop in the car and she gets it when she gets there. Truthfully I could go on, but the key was that she doesn't get told "No" at home, so why work on the lollipop issue if you aren't going to work on the whole balleywick?
p.s. Jack went to swim class by himself today and went down the big slide!!! (but I missed it because I was trying to get their other swim class scheduled, so so sad!) He did great as far as I could tell. I did hear some crying, but it was more fussing than screaming crying. Yeah Jack!
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5 comments:
That would definitely be a frustrating thing to see week after week.
I know you and I are by no means perfect mothers, but I've got to tell you...I am amazed at some of the mistakes I see other parents make on a regular basis. It makes me a little crazy, a little frustrated, a little sad for the kids, and also worried for "our kids" that are going to be dealing with these undisciplined children in school someday.
I guess that's all a part of life though, huh.
Don't you love it when people ask for advice and then ignore it completely.
My kids learned early that "No" means NO. I always treid to explain why it was No so that we both didn't end up in the situations (them screaming) you described.
My guess would be that Mother is trying to be MORE of a FRIEND to her child than the ONLY MOTHER she will have, physically, anyway. So many women do/want that these days & it's SAD.
You can be A friend to your child, especially as they get OLDER, but they desperatly NEED their ONLY MOTHER to train/teach them, in a LOVING & CONSISTENT way!!!!!
It's not easy, of course, and every day is different--but for her to KEEP making the SAME MISTAKE day after day is NOT helping her child AT ALL!!!!!
Maybe some other Mother there--LIKE YOU, maybe--could 'take her aside' & explain JUST HOW IMPORTANT only taking 1 pop like EVERYONE ELSE IS!!!!--and, it's MORE important than just 'the pop'!
Of course there will be MORE crying, but she's crying ALREADY!
So, she might as well be teaching/training her CORRECTLY & THEN, the crying WILL END!!!!!
And, EVERYONE WILL BE HAPPIER!!!!!
That's my advice, from a GRANDMother, anyway. I'd LOVE to talk with her--if she'd want to--really is 'ASKING FOR HELP'--you can give her my email address!!!!!
And, AJ's right, too--YOUR kids are ALREADY having to 'deal with' kids like that--BUT, because YOUR kids ARE disciplined, already, THEY will be the LEADERS of THEIR generation, when it comes to that!!
And, that's something GOOD you can 'take from all of this' frustration, Jamie!!!!! LOVE YOU!!
Mom
I cry less with three lollipops.
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