Tuesday, November 13, 2007

School worries

Well, the Vanguard Magnet Program process has just begun and I am WAY stressing about it. I toured a school today that we are really excited about (hopefully Michael will tour on Thursday) and it was pretty impressive and emotional (for me, I am sure Michael won't have tears in his eyes as he tours :)).

The impressive part
  • the curriculum and academic work that they displayed
  • every teacher there is certified to teach the "gifted and talented" children
  • they have a language immersion program where they teach children to read, write and speak fluently in English and Spanish by the third grade (3 children from this program got up and read a speech that they wrote for themselves in one language and then translated it into the other...in front of us. AMAZING)
  • they have "student competitions" that they encourage everyone to participate in, but by third grade you have to pick at least one to join. The choices range from spelling bee to science fair, to math minders (or some such thing), etc, etc.
  • they have a cool garden mostly managed by the kiddos; they encourage teachers to build it into their curriculum whether it's measure the height of the flower, to watching paper decompose.
  • the HISD bond fund just passed and this school is slotted to be re-built within the next five years and maybe next year.
The emotional part
  • I really could see Samantha as a Kindergartener today. I was overflowing with pride for her because of what a good girl she is and just how far she's had to come since I first met her...not that all kindergarteners haven't come that far, but never my first born.
  • I am really anxious about the whole school thing though because as a child I NEVER operated from a place of strength in school. I feel like I had to work HARD to scrape out every B I got. When I tried to attend 1st grade, the school really wanted me to re-do Kindergarten but Mom and Dad pitched a big enough fit that they let me proceed. So, I guess I am a little jittery about the testing that will have to occur for her to get into this program.
  • Pretty soon I am going to have to send my precious little one into the big, bad world where I have little control...and that scares me a LOT.
I recently finished reading ScreamFree Parenting and what I learned is that to produce self-directed, confident, successful children I need to settle myself down and grow up. For Jack and Samantha to be what I want them to be they need me to operate out of my highest principles rather than my deepest fear. So, if you see me nonchalantly talking to Samantha about all of this, just know that I am crying desperately inside as I don't feel equipped make such hard and life altering decisions for her. Know that I struggle every day to find the right amount of grip to keep on her close to me and protected and still allow her to flourish and grow as God intends for her.

Parenting is HARD work and can be totally exhausting, but I thank God for Samantha and Jack and the things that I learn from them everyday.

Later taters!

4 comments:

MamaRose said...

Well, I can tell you, from experience & I REMEMBER THIS--YOU & THEY will NEVER be the SAME--after the FIRST day you send them OFF to School--that includes Kindergarten!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And, mostly it's for the better--but, THAT IS THE DAY that you HAVE to BEGIN 'LETTING GO'--THANK GOD we have another 13 years to COMPLETE THAT, usually--but, IT IS HARD--especially for 'Stay-At-Home Mom's'--I think--having been one!!!

It's MAINLY when you realize that YOUR CHILD is going to learn things from other folks & sometimes--like from some WEIRD kids/classmates--it's NOT ALWAYS good things!!!!!!!!!

BUT, to grow up in this world, they NEED those 'times'/learning experiences, TOO!!!!!!!!! They ARE going to be confronted with EVIL!!!!!!!!! JUST TRUST THEM!!!!

The BEST THING is to KEEP your lines of Communication OPEN & always be READY TO LISTEN to anything they have to say, what they're thinking, what someone else said, etc.

AND, with BUNCHES OF PRAYERS--your 'little one' will grow up EVEN BETTER than you can possibly IMAGINE, right now!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Because they've got LOTS OF OTHER FOLKS, including GRANDparents, PRAYING FOR THEM & what they're learning, TOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

GOD BLESS YOU ALL!!!!!!!!!!!!! WE LOVE YOU BUNCHES!!!!!!!!!!!!! Mom

hard.rox said...

Jamie, I always like reading your blog because it's a constant reminder that parenting is work. Not slave labor, but a "work in progress" that allows us to make modifications mid-course. Its very easy to fall into a rut and go with the flow. You're always looking to improve yourself, which is motivating.

Keep up the good work!!

~aj~ said...

That is such an exciting (and yet terrifying!) time. I'm sure it's hard to prepare yourself mentally and emotionally for it.

This school sounds very "intense", but if anyone can succeed at it, it is Miss Samantha. She's going to do great. She's such a sweet, smart young lady. She's going to knock their socks off!!!

Hope the transition goes just as smoothly for mom! :) ((HUGS))

Julie Keen said...

Jamie,
I can totally relate as Michaela starts Kindergarten next year too ... and I cried at the parent meeting last month ... just the idea of her getting onto the school bus ... sigh ... and that she will have a whole life separate from me. I guess that I should be glad that we don't have full-day Kindergarten here yet!!